This week, I have been really feeling “sick” which is a wonderful thing. I’ve got an aching in my hips, which also is a good sign. I am EXTREMELY tired, yet another good sign. My heart is so excited about baby. I’m so in love already. I was able to see the heartbeat on Friday, and that really sealed the deal. But then…
Then, I let my head get the best of me. I start thinking about how things were all “normal” until they weren’t. I start thinking, maybe I shouldn’t be excited until I know for certain this baby will be mine. I’m feeling so confused. I’m feeling like I want to love this baby like nothing has ever happened, and then it happens… The What Ifs. I just keep praying and thanking God for giving us this baby. I keep praying for a healthy baby. And I have been very excited about it, but just today, I feel the concern creeping in.
Take this awful feeling from me. I know You are with me. I know You are Bigger and Stronger than any other. I know that You can do ALL things. Help me succumb to your awesomeness, to Your plan for us, to Your blessings. Help me to love unconditionally like you do. Help me to do what is best for this baby. Hold us close to You. In Your Holy Name I Pray. Amen.