Preparation

Be content with what you have, for God has said, “Never
will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”  So say with
confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.”

                                                                  – Hebrews 13:5,6

I’ve been preparing myself for a while now for what would happen when we started to try again. And, really, we aren’t trying… so let me rephrase. I’ve been trying to prepare myself for when we were pregnant again. I’ve continued my prayers and devotions. I’ve tried showing His light through helping others. I’ve tried to not think about the what if’s but to live my life completely in faith. I pray for the Holy Spirit to be ever present in my life. I’m ignoring the worries that I have, because I know that is only an attack on my faith.  The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.

I’ve just  been to the doctor on Wednesday. We are excited to announce that we are  about 6 weeks along. I continue to lean on the Lord, my Helper. I’m praying for the healthy baby that I want so badly. I am so excited, and I’m looking forward to this journey.

As I waited for the doctor, I sat with my heart racing. All of those old feeling crept in. Remember what happened last time? Remember how things were okay, and then they weren’t? How many pregnancies have you had? How many children do you have? With each thought and question running through my head, my heart broke a little more.  As the doctor entered the room, she smiled and asked, ” How are we today?” I burst into tears and replied, ” So nervous!” She hugged me, and said, “Have you prayed on this?” I nodded. She hugged me, and said, “Then, we have to have faith that He knows what He’s doing. We’ll just take one day at a time.” It was like she was sent with the Spirit to remind me of my faith, to help me through that difficult moment. And in that moment, I felt like, ” Okay, I can do this…. I think.”  We discussed our game plan. Somewhere around 10-12 weeks we will go to MUSC for an ultrasound and testing for genetic disorders. She said she would feel like we can breathe a sigh of relief around 24 weeks. She said that it won’t be an easy road, but we are going to rely on our faith to get us through.

I came home, and I still felt a little overwhelmed and worried. So, I did what I know to do. I went to take a shower and to pray. I sat there, and I just poured my heart out. I know he already knows what is in my heart, but I put it in words. I thanked Him for this gift. I asked for peace in my heart. I prayed the Prayer of Jabez.  I cried for Him to help me, that I cannot do this without Him. I’ve given myself to Him, and I need Him to be near me. I’ve prayed everyday since then. And I have a feeling of peace, calm, and excitement about me. I’m looking forward to what is to come.

Miles and I were able to keep our secret until his dad and Jeanie were here for a weekend. We planned to go to a football game in Jacksonville months ago, but it couldn’t have worked out better. We planned for my family to meet us at Fat Patties for dinner. I made up “menus”  with our little secret on them. When we arrived at the restaurant, I snuck off to the “bathroom”. I asked the waitress to pass out the “menus”. Then, we sat and waited for everyone’s reactions. It was priceless. The surprise, the crying, the happiness, it was all WONDERFUL!

After the families knew, it was time to text all of my friends and our “Good Enough” family. It was night full of joy and laughter. We are looking forward to a pregnancy full of joy and laughter. We continue to pray, but I know… The Lord is my Helper.

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