The First Year
So, everyone always talks about the “newlywed” year, and they always make it sound so sweet and fairy tale-like… But, I will be the first one to tell you that the first year was TOUGH! It was not the walk in the park that I had imagined. It was not the breakfasts in bed, traveling, and sweetness I’d spent so long daydreaming about. I’d gone from living with 3 female roommates to living at home with family to living with my new husband. Getting used to each others’ habits was trying, to say the very least. I’m the kind of person that likes things neat and tidy. I like my towels folded a certain way. I like to organize EVERYTHING.
Miles, on the other hand, likes to come into the house and disrobe. The garments can fall where they may, and stay there for as long as they like/ are needed again. He hates doing dishes, and it makes no never mind to him if the towels are folded.
We argued about keeping the house neat. We argued about how to fold the towels. We argued about calling to check in on the way home. We argued about lots of things. It was a VERY difficult year while we worked on our communication skills, found the balance between work and home, and understanding what it was to be in a partnership.
I was just starting my career as a teacher. He was just getting out of the Marine Corps, and starting work as a contractor for Gulfstream. We were both commuting. We were tired. It seemed the house work was never done. I tried so hard to come home every evening (yes, evening… even though school dismisses at 3:15, I seemed to be up to my eyeballs in planning) and be the “Suzi Homemaker” I thought I should be. Trying to cook a balanced meal every night, clean, and prepare for the next day was exhausting, all while trying to maintain my cool and not ask my hubby for help. I thought, “Well, he’s up so early and he works so hard, I don’t want to bother him”…. By the 6th month, I was burnt out. If it weren’t for my sweet momma, coming by from time to time to help me with the house work, I don’t know what I would’ve done.
In the first year though, there were good times. It was nice to know that my sweet hubby would be home to greet me. It was nice to know that I would get to see him everyday, instead of every other weekend, like we did while I was in school. We developed our rituals, like Saturday morning Walmarting in our pj’s to pick out a cereal for the weekend or our walks around our rental property in the evenings(200 acres of farm/field/pond). Things were by no means bad… it was just a transition, and not the fairy tale I’d dreamed up.
We also got our first dog that year. My sweet, rotten girl Jasmine. My assistant at school knew of a puppy that needed a home. Miles had been begging for months for us to get a dog. I made a call to our landlord, who graciously, allowed us to have a dog in our rental. So, I went home on a Thursday knowing that Friday I would surprise him with a puppy. Friday afternoon couldn’t come soon enough. I brought home my sweetie, placed her in my lap, and curled up with a blanket. I sat and waited. When Miles came in, he sat down to tell me about his day, and the blanket began to move. He exclaimed, ” What the hell?” and Jasmine’s sweet face popped out. He was so excited, he demanded we got to the store to get her a collar and bowls and toys to make her feel at home.
By April, Miles had been laid off, and taken a new job in Mississippi. We went on our honeymoon during my spring break to Las Vegas. I returned from our trip, and Miles headed to his new job. It was heart breaking. I didn’t know when I’d get to see him, and the plan was he would contract overseas. That made me even more nervous. I headed home to pack up our things and moved in with my family to save some money. Unfortunately, that job fell through, and Miles had to take yet another job in Pennsylvania.
We spent our first anniversary in Williamsburg, VA at Busch Gardens. We were still unsure when Miles would make it back to SC, and I had a scholarship obligation to stay in SC. By late July, he’d made it home, and we moved into our second home.
Within a few weeks of his return, and with the new school year starting, we found we were expecting our first baby. It was such a blur… But, that is a story for another day. 🙂
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